It was a beautiful early autumn morning when Phil found himself trying to catch the colorful leaves that were descending gracefully to the ground. He felt like a kitten again. Jumping up high, swatting leaves with his paws, tail swinging frantically from side to side, then he heard a painful yelping sound behind him.

He quickly glanced back and saw the evil female cat from his third house moaning and whining. Wanting nothing to do with her and her malovent ways he quickly ran and jumped his way back to his swing. He pumped his paws on the soft cushion until he felt it was comfy enough for him to curl up and take a little nap. Within seconds he was sound asleep. He didn't notice that the black cat had followed him and was staring at him intently.

"YEOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!"

Phil's fur stood up like spikes all over his body, his tail was poofed out three times its usual size, and his ears laid back against his head. He looked down from his perch on the swing and there was his enemy staring back at him. He started to growl and she started to hiss. Suddenly the patio doors swung open and the nice lady had a broom and was aiming it at the black cat.

"Shoo! Leave my friend alone!"

The black cat gave one last evil look and a hiss and then took off over the fence. Phil's fur still stood on end but knowing the nice lady was there helped calm him down. As soon as all his fur laid down and his tail lost the super fuzz factor the lady sat down on the swing beside him and petted him and soothed him. He crawled into her lap and started purring.

Phil, the Cat

Once upon a time there was a cat named Phil. Phil, the cat, lived between three different houses. At the first house, he liked the padded swing on the back porch and the fact that the nice lady would throw out the leftover tuna surprise her mother in law brought to her every Tuesday and Thursday night.

The second house had a nice big uncovered sand box and easy to climb trees so Phil could check out the happenings in the neighborhood. However, he had to be careful what time he went over to the second house because the children who lived there sometimes came out to play. The children enjoyed games such as tie the rope around the kitty's tail or spray the cat with the power washer. Phil wasn't fond of either game.

In his third home was a cat door and inside was a strange bald man and his eccentric wife. The house was decorated with skulls and bones and a cross shaped grave marker with the name "Sharmalita" carved into it. Normally this would bother any sane cat, but Phil always knew food would be set out and water would be available. There was even a litter box in case the kids were playing in his other yard. Another cat also lived there, but he managed to avoid her as much as possible since she was usually in a very bad mood.

To be continued......

Hardhips for citizens

Okay, so obviously I survived the Jury Paneling experience, but I can't get a conversation out of my head. I was sitting outside the courtroom waiting for the lawyers to decide which suckers were going to give the guy 99 years in prision for stabbing his estranged wife. I sat on a a long bench and pulled out my lovely PDA (No, I didn't have a boyfriend stuck in my purse...I did have a Coke though...) and proceeded to play Solitare. (Told you there was no boyfriend in the purse...) The woman next to me worked for the school district as some sort of diagnostician. She was talking with a lady next her and and a young woman in an electronic wheelchair. She asked the lady in the wheelchair if she remembered seeing her at an elementary school and at first the woman said no. Then after a few seconds she said she did remember her. The school lady reminded her that she saw her son. The lady said that wasn't her son, but her nephew. She just had her first child on July 4th. Doing the math that baby would have been 22 days old and she was at the courthouse...hmmmm..... The lady went on to say that she had him when she was only 6 months along and that he was in a nearby city in the hospital. He was doing well, but wasn't doing well. She had to go visit him a lot. OKAY-I'm still playing my game, but I'm thinking-why is this woman here or how can you be such a blatant liar-the school lady was being nice???? The judge made it quite clear that people could be gone for hardships. Well, the school lady asked gently why she didn't bring it to the judge because that would have qualified as a hardship. The lady in the wheelchair said she didn't think that would qualify and the judge never asked. She said she might as well be there she didn't have to be at the hospital until the afternoon anyway. I'm cursing to myself in my head. Either the lady was a liar, or she was extremely dimwitted. We were called back into the courtroom at that time. I was coming unglued. If she was lying..what an idiot, but if she was extremely dimwitted as I greatly suspect based on her verbal and nonverbal ques-I was outraged. That child will be in the school system in five years and it will be the school systems responsibility to turn this child-the offspring of this woman-into one who can function in society and in the great state of Texas pass a test when he is 8. Never mind where he came from....the fact that he was three months premature....his mom was not all there mentally....wonder if dad was even in the picture....wonder why dad was ever in the picture....obviously there are more family issues if the school diagnostician was having to see the woman's nephew....but in eight years some teacher will be responsible for making sure that kid passes a test. Something smells rotten and this is creating quite the hardship for all citizens of Texas.

Sitting on the Jury Panel

So, I'm doing my civic duty listening to the lawyer drag on and on about our responsibilities and repeating the same questions over and over again, although he was using different words. I look over and wish that I had a comb to comb the back of one guy's head...which starts me wondering what the back of my head looks like...then I realize the guy in front of me missed a spot shaving his head...hmmmmm...what would I look like bald...... Would I have a good round head for being bald or a cone shaped head....what would I shave my head with....Nair??? Quattro for women....or an electric razor-I wonder what one of those epilator things would feel like on my head.... This guy will not shut up!!!! I could have wrapped this up in 5 minutes or less....I'd use a powerpoint to put all potential witnesses names up and potential jurors could have punched a button or something if they knew any of them...I was half wondering if there was anyone who knew anyone, but wasn't suppose to know them.....maybe sitting right next to me the large woman with the cane was secretly having an illicit affair with the medical examiner...."So, ma'am, you know Dr.Joe Blow?" "Why yes I do, Sir." "How are you aquainted with Dr. Blow?" "Well, Sir, he and I have had an ongoing love affair for ten years now." Now that would have made things more exciting....better than, "Louie Jones is my son." " I attend church with Louie's great aunt Martha." "I dog sit for Louie Jones." Hmmmm....I wonder how much it would hurt if I drilled this pencil right through my forehead right now...